Finding Relief: Calming Anxiety and Self-Doubt in the Time of COVID-19

A photo of relief in COVID-19.

"This evening, I sat in an attempt to reset. I thought. I listened. I did yoga. I read. I meditated. And in that silence and reflection, it became clear to me that it was time to give myself some relief." -Russell Etherton

By Russell Etherton

What a crazy time we find ourselves in. March has ended (finally!) and, in just a single month, the world has changed in ways we won’t fully realize for years and decades to come. Lives have been forever altered, destroyed, or lost completely. And now the ways in which we interact with one another, the best practices in every sector, the systems that are supposed to be there when we needed a safety net, and the planet we live on … it has all been changed and affected by a virus that almost no one had heard of just thirty days ago.

We’re now living in a new reality—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Suddenly, all of these extra layers of pressure are being placed on us. On top of the tensions that already exist in our daily lives and the anxieties we’re already battling, we’re now generating more stress and pressure internally about the idea of stress and pressure and the things we can’t control. 

For me, and I assume for others as well, there is more pressure to perform at work so that I can keep my job in a time when others are being furloughed or laid off completely. There’s the stress of being safe and secure in my home while simultaneously trying not to be obsessive about cleaning and disinfecting or hoarding things I don’t really need. There’s the constant battle between my need to ask for help when I’m feeling stuck, lost, alone, or in need of love and the voice in my head that says, “Everyone is going through the same thing and your needs aren’t as important as theirs.”

There’s so much noise in my head and in my mind that I can’t hear my heart.

So this evening, I sat in an attempt to reset. I thought. I listened. I did yoga. I read. I meditated. And in that silence and reflection, it became clear to me that it was time to give myself some relief. To say, with intention, that it’s okay to not be “on” 100 percent of the time. To let go of what I can’t control. To release at least some of the expectations I’ve put on myself as to how I should be during a global crisis. To say “fuck it” to the voice in my head that wants me to believe that this all has to look and be a certain way.

I’m not saying that it’s okay to abandon my responsibilities and the commitments I’ve made in the name of COVID-19, social distancing, and self-preservation. I know that I am fully responsible for doing the job I’m paid to do. I am responsible for keeping myself safe and healthy. And I am responsible for leading with integrity in the areas of my life where I am out to have the biggest impact.

But what I am saying is … give yourself some relief. Take the pressure off just a little bit. And let it be okay. For today, at least, give yourself some grace. Ask for what you need. Know that it is okay to be unmotivated and lazy, and that it’s okay to feel uncertain. It will pass. Things will get better.

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