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Love+Sex

My Life as an Online Lesbian Dominatrix

An illustration of a queer dominatrix.

All of this is done over web camera—the physical and legal protection of which I am grateful. On camera, there are no STDs, no vice squad, and a far lower risk of being followed home by fans. Online, my clients and I explore our common kinks and sexual tastes while preserving the delicate balance of our vanilla off-camera lives. For numerous reasons, many of my clients need to keep their desires to be dominated and sexually-controlled private. They have jobs…

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Sanitized or Subtle? ‘Call Me by Your Name,’ ‘Moonlight,’ and Queer Male Sex in Cinema

An image from the queer film Call Me by Your Name.

Like the Oscar-winning Moonlight last year, another gay drama has cut into mainstream cinema and garnered Academy Award buzz. Based on the novel of the same title, Call Me by Your Name is a film set in 1980s Italy, following 17-year-old Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and his fleeting summer love with Oliver (Armie Hammer), a graduate student in his mid-20s who works temporarily as an archaeological assistant with Elio’s professor father at their decadent villa.…

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The Queer Southern Wedding I Didn’t Need to Throw

A photo of Sasha Lamprea and Natalie Arrevalo's queer southern wedding.

I spent most of 2017 planning (and secretly dreading) a queer southern wedding.  My partner and I were together for nearly seven years before getting engaged, and a full eight before the actual wedding. We went through undergrad, grad school, four apartments, three cats, two dogs, countless trips together, an infinite number of laughs and tears, and more than a handful of awkward family moments before getting to the alter. …

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Asking for a Friend: Out of The Closet and Into The Streets?

An illustration of coming out of the closet.

Dear Queer Comrade, Coming out is a huge journey. Whenever I talk to people about their coming out experiences, I always ask first how they came out to themselves. Coming in to your own truth is the hardest journey of all. Sometimes we come out to ourselves and immediately tell the world, and other times, we don’t, won’t, or can’t—and that is more than okay. Here are some ideas to help you navigate this chapter of your coming out journey.…

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Living by Choice: My First HIV Test

A photo of Russell Etherton sharing his story about his first HIV test.

I try and live my life by choice. My first HIV test, however, was in reaction—reaction to a love story and a partner I thought I knew. Once upon a time, in a gay land far away… I vividly remember the day I met my ex-boyfriend. Like so many of my friends, Grindr was how I found “connection.” I opened the app and, in the endless scroll of faces and torsos, I’d find someone who would quench whatever thirst I had that…

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Asking for a Friend: Six Queer-Friendly Dating Apps That’ll Make You Swipe Right

An illustration of dating apps.

Greetings queerios, allies, and friends! In this special edition of Asking For A Friend, I’m going to take you on my personal tour of dating apps. I frequently get asked which dating apps or sites I recommend and, to be honest, I don’t often know which ones are the most “in” at the moment. But, as a relationship expert, sexologist, and a single-and-ready-to-mingle woman, I decided to dive in and share my digital dating experiences. Full disclosure before we begin: these…

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Landline: An Introduction to Gay Porn

A photo of an introduction to gay porn.

The door slides open, and I hop down the steps and onto the street. The school bus drops me and a few other kids off at the entry to our neighborhood. The cement feels soft beneath my new Sketchers. Mother bought them for me last weekend. After pay day, she took me to the Payless and let me pick out a new pair. She said my last ones needed to be replaced because they had gone to hell. The other…

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Asking For A Friend: Spooky STIs

An illustration of lesbian STIs

I know I'm supposed to get tested for STIs regularly and, while I do get tested at my annual well woman's exam, I feel like maybe that's not enough? I'm not in a monogamous relationship right now, sometimes have casual sex, and when [I do], it’s with other women and isn’t always "protected" sex. How often should I be getting tested for STIs? Also, I've never been tested outside of my annual exam. Are there free STI testing centers I…

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Your Friendly Neighborhood Queer: Rooster Teeth’s Mariel Salcedo

A photo of Mariel Salcedo on Always Open on Rooster Teeth.

Mariel Salcedo has become a Rooster Teeth fan favorite, previously producing and guest starring in the now cult classic, Free Play, before taking on her current role on Always Open. For the production company’s LGBTQ devotees, however, she’s more than a comedic Internet celebrity—she’s someone they can connect to on a deeper level, someone they can call their own.…

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