By Yvonne Marquez
You’re either a “cat” lesbian or a “dog” lesbian—and I am firmly the latter. So when my friends sent me an Instagram post back in October advertising a “Yappy Hour” hosted by LADY, a queer collective in Dallas, I instantly replied, “Lez go!”
My wife and I leashed up our dog and headed out to Mutt’s, a burger joint/dog park, where we were warmly welcomed by members of LADY. We immediately felt at ease chatting with them and others who came to the event. We were having fun showing some love to each other’s dogs, when all of a sudden, it started raining. LADY quickly found a new location for us to continue the meetup, so we headed to Taco Heads later that night. We mingled, danced, and had an incredible time getting to know other queer women. I’m not sure if it was the margaritas, but I felt so good that night. I felt a genuine connection with everyone I met, and most importantly, I felt like I belonged.
It’s rare to find dedicated LGBTQ women spaces in Dallas. Sue Ellen’s, one of the last lesbian bars in the country, is probably the only one I can name. But there are a handful of LGBTQ groups carving out spaces across the DFW area for queer people to find community. LADY queer collective is the latest to create events centering women loving women, but is welcoming to all in the LGBTQIA+ community. Their mission is simply to make space for queers and to make spaces queer.
LADY began when a group of friends and friends of friends had aspirations to bring queer women together in Dallas. “I’m not going to say that Dallas is a boy’s town, but there are times where it does feel like it’s catered more to white gay men than it [is to] a lot of other demographics in the community,” says Joy Che, a 25-year-old Dallas native who serves as one of LADY’s organizers.
LADY’s founders noticed that numerous queer events and parties were happening in other major cities, but the scene wasn’t as robust in Dallas, making it difficult to meet new friends or to date. “LADY evolved from trying to find where we all fit and trying to find groups to hang out with, something beyond a meetup,” says LADY organizer Molly Sydnor, a 26-year-old multidisciplinary artist originally from Milwaukee.
LADY officially launched to a huge turnout last May with a party at Sundown at Granada, a Dallas restaurant and bar. “We realized that a lot of LGBTQ women in Dallas were wanting more spaces where people could meet up without necessarily drinking,” Che says. “We just didn’t want a clubbing scene anymore.”
Che, Sydnor, and Joseline Boamah, a 29-year-old event planner originally from Ghana, now work together to lead the collective. The trio has multiple meetings every month where they brainstorm events and divvy up the tasks to make them happen.
LADY hosts L Word Trivia every month, throws fitness events like boxing classes or hikes, and has gay dodgeball and kickball teams. The collective also just started a new book club and a game-night series at Taco Heads. LADY produces “Date Night with LADY” at local art galleries that showcase Sydnor’s work, and provides snacks and drinks. Sydnor recalls the first Date Night with LADY: “I have never seen so many lesbians in a space that is not traditionally gay,” she remembers. “Every time I turned around, there was a couple here, a couple there, a noticeably queer person there—and a not-so-noticeably queer person coming up to me, saying ‘Oh, are you, Molly? Your work is really nice. I saw you on Instagram.’ That feeling is why we’re doing it.”
While LADY is single-handedly filling up the social calendars of queer women across Dallas, keeping the collective going takes a ton of work and out-of-pocket funding. Sydnor runs LADY’s social media, writes a monthly newsletter, co-produces L Word Trivia with Che, and coordinates the volunteers. Che works with queer-friendly restaurants and venues for future events. Boamah helps with event logistics, edits content, and attends to details that may have been overlooked. The leaders are grateful for the help they receive from their team of dedicated volunteers, including Gina Lipschitz, who designs the event posters and social media posts.
Boamah loves to connect with people. She believes the key to LADY’s success is that the organizers make sure people feel welcomed and are comfortable at their events. “We make an effort to meet people, get to know their names, and invite them to all the events and to like our page to find out what we’re up to,” she says. “I think there’s that feeling of come as you are, stay if you want to, you’re welcome to leave if it doesn’t work for you, but we’d loved if you stayed.”
“Society and social media make you feel like you’re the only one experiencing something, so we try to put our best foot forward,” Boamah adds. “Friendships are born when you tell someone something and they’re like, ‘Oh, me too.’ It makes you feel less lonely. It makes you feel like you’re not crazy. It validates what you’re going through.”
Follow LADY on Instagram or Facebook to keep up with their latest events. Check out their website to read their newsletter and blog.
