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Love+Sex

How the Overturn of Roe v. Wade Will Impact LGBTQIA+ Couples in the South

Posted on September 23, 2022

A photo of protests surrounding the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade

The U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade on June 24, 2022. In doing so, the Supreme Court gave states the right to outlaw abortion. Several states, many of them in the South, have trigger laws, which state legislators have already approved, that went into effect immediately or almost immediately after Roe v. Wade was overturned. A perhaps unforeseen result of the overturn is that the ruling may also make it more difficult for LGBTQIA+ couples in the South to adopt…

Sax Hacks with Jax: Why I Made a Video Series on Chronic Pain and Sexuality

Posted on August 13, 2021

A photo of Sax Hacks with Jax, a video series on chronic pain and sexuality.

Ten years ago, when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia as a high-school senior, Instagram wasn’t a thing. Facebook was all the rage, YouTube the feature of most teenage hangouts. I searched these platforms and others, desperately looking for virtual community forums of other people living with chronic pain—only to find the occasional group of middle-aged women, usually Anglo-Christian, living in the suburbs. I went to one of their meetups, over an hour drive from my parents’ house. As I lay…

Why Polyamory is Part of My Queer Identity

Posted on June 11, 2021

A photo of hearts representing polyamory.

I’ve always liked the idea of a big family. Blood relatives are included in that picture, sure, but really it’s about chosen warmth and community—lots of people sharing space, intimacy, laughter, and safety. Maybe it’s because I’m an only child from a small, disjointed family. I’ll never know, and I don’t know how much that root matters. What I do know is that, after dating for over 10 years, I identify as polyamorous whether I am partnered or not. This…

How Can We Talk to Kids About Consent? Sexologist Dr. Laura McGuire’s New Book is Here to Help

Posted on April 1, 2021

This queer and non-binary sexologist is helping parents and teachers of K-12 students navigate conversations about consent in their debut book, Creating Cultures of Consent. …

A Surprise Love: My Queer Journey from Committed Singlehood to Marriage

Posted on February 26, 2021

I hate surprises—always have, always will. I remember making the terrible mistake of asking for a surprise party in elementary school. One peaceful Sunday afternoon, I came home from church thinking about how much I was looking forward to a nap, and instead found a house full of people screaming “Happy Birthday!” I immediately turned around and burst into a fountain of tears. I wasn’t emotionally prepared, I had other plans set in my mind, and I wasn’t ready to…

Let’s Talk About Sex: Navigating Conversations Around Pleasure in the Black Queer Community

Posted on February 14, 2021

Most people have memories of getting the talk. Yes, the talk about S-E-X. Now how this talk happened and what was included can differ greatly. Being Black, queer, and growing up in the Bible Belt, conversations about sex were the definition of “hush hush.” To learn about sex, you had to turn to your friends—which meant conversations were mostly heteronormative and filled with misinformation.…

Radical Joy: Considering the Intersection of Pleasure and Self-care

Posted on December 31, 2020

When I think about pleasure, muscle memories of cuddling with my dog (a rescue pittie named Daisy, scattered with black-and-white markings) wash over me. Next, I’m hit by that mind-expanding “Aha!” feeling when I learn something new that sparks connection and understanding. Other times, I think about the care bestowed upon me when someone would play with my hair or wrap themselves around my body. Touch, emotional intimacy, and energy exchange shape pleasure for me. …

Quintessentially Queer: Helping My Ex Find Love

Posted on September 17, 2020

Queer women are famous for staying friends for life. Our exes are often our besties, business partners, and extended family. While straight people debate if exes can ever stay friends, queer women have made it a cultural norm. I loved you once as my lover and forever as my friend—even if we aren’t a match for lifelong romantic entanglement, I still want to be around you because I enjoy and value our connection. It seems pretty simple in the dyke…

Beyond the Visual: The Radical Feminism of Audio Erotica

Posted on July 21, 2020

Porn can be divisive—and, often, whether you view the erotic subject as good, bad, or neutral depends largely on the lens and framework of your gaze. On one side is the camp that sees almost all porn, as long as it's between consenting adults, as fun and fine. On the other side are the folks who equalize all types of porn and generalize them all as bad. This latter group is an interesting mix of liberal feminists, violence prevention advocates,…

Is Dating Actually Worth It?

Posted on April 9, 2020

Growing up, we’re all fed the same fairytale ending: We’ll find our person, they’ll offer us love and devotion, they’ll complete us, and together, we’ll settle into a life of fulfillment. From story books, to romantic comedies, to the arc of almost every book, romantic partnering is presented as the ideal. Surprise, things aren’t that easy.…

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